'I HAD THE STRESS OF THE WORLD':
A REPORT ON YOUNG FATHERS IN MASSACHUSETTS
IN SCHOOL
About half the young fathers were in school when the focus groups were held. Of those who were not in school, most had dropped out. Some of those dropouts had subsequently enrolled in GED programs. Seventy-five percent of group participants said they wanted to finish their education, a wish that in some cases meant going on to college, and about the same percentage said they considered school important. With only a few exceptions, most group participants reported negative school experiences, citing boredom, uncaring teachers, violence, and the need to earn money as reasons for quitting.
When I was about 13, 14, I found out what a girl was. And that got me into trouble, and I was hunted. One guy came to school with a machete, went up to my girl, and said, 'This is for your boyfriend,' and just grazed it across her face. And I went to confront the guy. But it so happened one of his friends had brought a nine mil, and he had a rambo knife about 26 inches long, and I was like, 'Wow.' At that point, I was like, 'Oh I'm a man. I'll go beat his ass real quick, and that's it.' I didn't know what was waiting for me there until one of my friends came up and was like, 'Look, they've got a death threat out on you. Just walk away.' Being ignorant, I just kept going. I was like, 'I don't care, come on.' And I'd go, I'd confront them. But then his whole crew just came at me, and I ran because I thought there was about twenty of them against me. I ran. I ran so fast that I left them behind. And just one of them caught me. I begged for my life. And from that day on, I never went back.
I (quit school) because I had my son at a really young age. I had the stress of the world that, you know, I had to support this kid. It was time, and going to high school wasn't really helping me out. And plus the influence of the street. It was a combination of them both. You could make money both ways: on the street, or get a job. But when you want to support a little boy, and you have so many obstacles against you, you'll choose the (negative) way for yourself and your child.
I used to go to school every day basically just to fight.
I was at Boston High. My grades was like, on point. I come (to Community Academy), they put the work in front of me. I say, 'I can do this. I did this back there.' It comes out, I do it, half the paper is incorrect. You know what I'm saying? They were passing me, just to get me out of there.
I got expelled twice. The first time I got expelled 'cause I was beefing with a teacher. He got in my way and me and him just started scrapping and I put him on the ground. All right, I got expelled that time. Then they brought me back to the same school. So while I'm there, I got in a beef with the principal, 'cause, you know what I'm saying, he wanted to test me, so me and him got in a beef. He didn't want to pull no charges so they just sent me here.
I hit the ninth grade, and these two teachers changed my whole life. They taught in a way that made me comprehend what they were teaching. I understood what they were teaching, and at the same time I was having fun....They saw when I swayed away from what was right. They would go up to me and be like, 'Hey, what's wrong? You having problems?' Like, at that time when I was in high school, my uncle passed away, and I went from an A to a D, and my teacher, you know, she said, 'What's going on?' I said, 'Well, my uncle passed away.' And you know, they helped me. They helped me with, 'Come on, you can do it,' and really pushing me.
There was this one teacher - he must have been dumbfounded or something, but the guy didn't understand. I would go to the class, and every day at the same time I would tell him I'm going to the bathroom and never return. You know? Then there was this other teacher that I would go, I'd tell him, 'Oh, can I go to the office?' and I'd go home. I just didn't care. The next day, he'd see me in the hall. 'Where were you?' 'Well, I went home.' 'Okay, bye.'
I went to Burdett (College). The reason why I went to Burdett is because my family thought real low of me because when my baby's mother was pregnant, they thought I was going to be nobody, because at a young age I got a child coming up, and I ain't gonna do nothing but work and all that. But it's not true. I proved them wrong, because a month after she was going to have the baby, I called schools and everything and Burdett was the best one for me. I went there, and I was working at night, and that's very tough. I was working at night, and in the morning I have to get up and go to school for like eight or nine hours. That's no joke. So I graduated there with honors. I was on the dean's list every month. Know what I'm saying? So the reason I did all that is I had to prove to them that I could do it.
When I made my decision to drop out, I had no principal, no teacher, no counselor to tell me that you're making a wrong decision. Nobody, nobody came up to me....
When I dropped out of school, it wasn't because I was a father. I dropped out of school just out of pure laziness. I was stupid .... (Now) I want to go back to school. but I want to go to night school, so I can work during the day. So I can have a paycheck, plus go to school.
Introduction | The Project | Their Own Fathers | Becoming A Father | Life With Children | Family Conflict | Violence and the Children | In School | Money | The Law | Housing | Jobs and Dream Jobs | Improving the System | Findings | Recommendations