Norma Murray is a 14-year veteran youth worker at Harmony House, a group home for young men between the ages of 14 and 18 in Chepachet, RI. Boys at Harmony House participate in programming and counseling while attending school in the community. Harmony House is a program of Harmony Hill School.

Norma Murray learned early on that she had a talent for working with young people. When she was 16 years old, she took a job as a childcare worker at a community playground, where she supervised children whose parents were at work. She found that she liked the kids, and loved the idea that work could actually be fun. She went on to complete an associate’s degree in mental health counseling and then a bachelor of arts degree in psychology. She began at Harmony Hill School in 1992 and now, at 43, is the supervisor of Harmony House.

Despite steady advancement and recognition, Murray is not a spotlight kind of person. She prefers to do her job quietly, interact with the youth in her program and support her team. She’s a low-key person who exudes a calming influence and presents as thoughtful and introspective. Her family is supportive of the work she does; occasional negative reactions from strangers – is it really a good idea for a woman to work with teenage boys? – draws a quick correction from her.

Like other successful youth workers, Murray takes inspiration from the young people she works with. Despite their troubled early histories, they are often able to do wonderful things with their lives. One young man returned to Harmony Hill as a 19-year-old Marine. In program, he’d encountered more than one crisis. But the day he returned, he let Murray and her team know that, however difficult things may have gotten when he was with them, he’d been listening and learning from them.

And what has Murray learned? Don’t take people at face value. “You have to dig deep in people to see what’s inside, to really get to know people,” she says. This is particularly true for young people who come into care. Murray remembers one young man who came to them: His history was terrible, and his reputation worse. But she and her co-workers looked hard and found a likable young man with a surprising variety of strengths. He did well at Harmony House and was eventually adopted. Standing by him meant advocating for him over and over at meetings, insisting that despite appearances, he was going to make it. It was the kind of support he needed, and in the end she was right – he did make it.

One of Murray’s goals is to help young people understand that they are safe – that not everyone they encounter is going to hurt them. Gene Cavaliere, Harmony Hill’s executive director, recalled an episode in which a group of four boys ran away from the program. Murray tracked them down. Using the skills that seem to come easily to her, she convinced all four to return. It was a testament to her counseling abilities, and an example of the depth of her therapeutic relationship with these boys, that they felt safe enough to come back with her.

Can such skills be taught in school? Murray doesn’t think so. A good youth worker engages young people from a place of respect and learns from every interaction. “You can’t rely on a diagnosis to learn who the person is; it’s just a label and is sometimes not accurate,” she says. “They are children first.” So, lesson number one for young staffers in the field: remain open, be flexible. “Don’t get stuck in you own ways, your own prejudices, views or morality. Leave your preconceived thoughts at home. [When you are at work] you are an actor on stage, you are happy, you smile, and you are caring no matter what is going on at home. This is what we do.”

NEN Best of Child & Youth Care Award recipients receive public recognition, a 50% discount to one NEN event during the year in which they are nominated, and a professional development opportunity with NEN. Nominations are accepted any time, and will be presented in the order they are received. To learn about the awards program, or to nominate a youth or child care worker from your agency, click here.

Click here to read about previous winners Brad Smith, Andrea Pasko, and Shelly Crouch.