GRANTWRITERS' RESOURCE:
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS GRANT?
ANSWER KEY
There are at least three things wrong with this purpose statement. The most obvious problems:
1. Where's the purpose??! By far, the worst mistake here is that at no point in this paragraph does the grant writer actually articulate the agency's purpose. An organization's purpose is a clear, simple statement of intent that expresses why the organization exists, rather than what it might choose to accomplish at any specific time. Essentially, it is the organization's reason for being. Purpose statements usually include two phrases: 1) an infinitive that indicates a change in status, such as to increase, to decrease, to prevent, to eliminate; and 2) an identification of the problem or condition to be changed. Thus, the purpose of a support program for young families would never be simply "to provide counseling services for young families," since that is describing a method rather than a result.
2. Information organized in a confusing way. Frankly, this point is pretty minor compared to the fact that the purpose is missing. However, it's worth noting that listing different items jumbled together like this into one paragraph is confusing. Especially when it comes to lists of activities, it is more effective to organize them into a bulleted list with headings summarizing different types of programs. For example:
Parent Support Services
"Call Now" 24-hour toll free hotline
Young Parents Program (year-round social activities and support group)
Monthly parent support group
Annual family picnic/book distribution
Educator & Community Services
Annual Teachers Workshop
Community Literacy Forum
Not only will an organized list provide grant readers with a clearer sense of what your organization does and how different activities connect, but this format also conveys the impression that activities are part of an overall framework, rather than disconnected, random offerings.
3. Where's the purpose??! (Again!) This deserves repeating. In fact, it's hard to critique anything else about this section because it does such a poor job of answering the question at hand. In fact, it doesn't even provide enough detail to characterize this as a section about activities (lack of clear participant numbers, incomplete descriptions), nor does it reference the problem it seeks to solve through these activities. In all, a very weak presentation of purpose, and one that most foundations would completely reject.
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